“I don’t need to be educated on parenting! My parent(s) did a great job! Look how I turned out! I’ll just do what they did.”

I’ve also heard the opposite:

“I don’t need to be educated on parenting! My parent(s) did a horrible job! Look how I turned out! I’ll just do the opposite of what they did!

For better or worse, it seems like most parents take the “what they experienced” route as their parenting “how-to” practices. They either experienced wonderfully supportive and loving parenting or they experienced a harsh and neglected family environment. Either way, they will just mimic what they experienced or do a 180 on what they experienced.

Before I had kids, I had all the answers for parents. I wisely didn’t share my answers with parents, but I had them. That is until I had kids and became a parent. Those “answers” quickly faded to many questions. And I’ve got to tell you, as an educated person who knows a lot about family systems and child and adolescent development, instead of heading to the plethora of parenting materials available today, I did what most every parent does: I took what I liked (and worked) from my parents, and I discarded what I didn’t like. I defaulted to the “what I experienced” route of parenting.

Now I’m not saying that learning from experience is bad. On the contrary, down through the ages, I imagine that parents didn’t read and research on the Internet or plow through volumes of parenting resources, but their extended family parented their kids along side of the actual parents. Wisdom and action from grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc not only informed parents’ actions, but also went right along side of the parents.

So anyway… what am I trying to say? Good question… glad you asked (otherwise I would have kept going!).

As parents we need to be informed not just from what we experienced as a kid, but also from what others have experienced and possibly wrote about.

1. You don’t have to read volumes on parenting, just a few good ones that your church and friends and family you trust might recommend to you.

• Love and Logic is a great resource for some practical tips on raising responsible children as well as a mindset toward choices and consequences
• Focus on the Family – the old tried and true! They have an incredible rich history of providing extremely practical and worthwhile parenting resources for families
• Chris Spradin over @ epicparent.tv blogs about parenting quite frequently. I have found this blog to be extremely insightful and helpful as a parent. Chris pulls no punches and speaks the things that need to be spoken. That’s why his blog is titled: “Honest, On the Edge, Creative Parenting”
• Danika Cooley blogs over at http://thinkingkids.wordpress.com/ – her byline is: “Raising Thinking Kids in an Unthinking World.” Danika has some great thoughts about her kids, marriage, education, and life.
• Oh yeah, and the Bible… God has a lot to say about parenting (both what TO do and what NOT to do)

- Deuteronomy 6:1-9
- Joshua 24:15
- Proverbs (search for the words: father, mother, son, discipline, correction)
- Ephesians 6:1-4
- Colossians 3:18-25
- Hebrews 12:4-13

These are just a few resources… I’m sure others would have many more to share… in fact, why don’t you leave a comment below and share a few parenting resources!

2. It’s also worthwhile to rub shoulders with other parents who are in a similar stage of life (with your kids) as you are. Sometimes those conversations are helpful as they normalize the feelings you feel and the way your kids behave sometimes.

• Join (or start) a small group at your church with other families in a similar stage of life as yours. About six years ago, my wife and I, along with a few other close friends started a small group of young married couples. We didn’t have kids at that time. But six years later, almost every couple in our group now has 2 or more children! We have doubled our small group just in procreation!!
• Attend a parenting workshop (LIVE, where you have to go somewhere, not just videos on the internet) where you can meet other parents. Not only will you connect with other parents who share the same struggles you do, you might also get some good advice.

My kids are still young (ages four and three) and I’ve still got a lot to learn (no more “answers” from me!). My hope for parents is that we don’t stop learning to be better parents. And not just “better” parents so our kids will do exactly what we did with them or so we can all write the “best” parenting book or so we can be approved by God and society. We need to be “better” parents because God has entrusted these malleable lives in our care, and we have the most far-reaching impact on the trajectory of their lives. We should all be chastened by the sheer weight of responsibility that God has placed on us.

My hope for parents is that we don’t stop learning to be better parents.

And one more thing: it actually isn’t about being a better parent. Nope. It’s about being a disciple of Jesus. When we suffer and love, sacrifice and lean, in our pursuit of Christ and Him crucified, not only are we providing our children with a great example of what a genuine Christ-follower looks like, but we actually get to know and care about the things of God’s kingdom and not our own. We, parents, are actually children of God, too.

Some people have nothing to live for or “spend” their lives for. I once found myself whining inside my head because I had (on occasion when Brian was away) to navigate FOUR midweek football training sessions (that were never on the same nights) and TWO GAMES on a weekend. Then, on the corner of Seven Hills Road and Chapel Lane, the Holy Spirit reminded me how blessed I was to have little boys who could play sport. Point quickly taken as I sat at a set of red traffic lights.

2. HOUSEWORK 

Never go empty handed around the house – learn to multi-task. It saves time and energy. I often gather stuff and leave at the bottom of steps, front door, garage entry…

3. WRITE LISTS 

We think we won’t forget, but we do, especially when our minds are filled with so much. We all seldom go anywhere without our phones, so start a simple “to do” list on your phone!

4. INVEST IN A GOOD CLOTHES DRYER (if possible)

Helps turn endless, endless, endless laundry around faster. (Hang the big, power-sucking stuff out in the sunshine, but socks, undies, etc. can be turned around quickly in a good dryer…and we all know, it’s the undies and socks that cause family-meltdowns).

5. LEARN TO FOLD CLOTHES OFF THE CLOTHESLINE OR DRYER 

Hang shirts or t-shirts…saves ironing. Who has time to iron these days? (Although, I do recall ironing the blue chux-nappy-liners that went inside the cloth nappies that we soaked and then washed and then hung on the line and then folded again!! Yeah girls, back in the day when disposable nappies/diapers were still being invented…smile!)

6. DO GROCERIES ONLINE (if possible)

The big bulky stuff that drains time, energy, and makes pushing the shopping trolley to one’s car a nightmare. Yes, there is a delivery fee, but measure it against what your “precious time” is worth. (And for the record, I only just started this, and I’m 54…and the first time we did it, we accidentally bought enough beans to feed a small nation! Online novice mistake!)

7. SHARE THE LOAD WITH FRIENDS 

Especially if you are part of a church community. ex. My daughter-in-law Lucille sometimes helps my daughter Laura with baby Willow when she needs to be at Friday night youth. Being “our sisters’ keepers” means we try to watch out for one another when we need help!

8. IF YOU TEND TO BE A HIGH MAINTENANCE PERSONALITY 

Lighten up! I’m saying this with utmost affection, but some girls need to just lighten up. Don’t be a “drama queen.” It’s marginally cute in movies but not really in real life.

9. TRAIN YOUR KIDS TO PICK UP AND BE RESPONSIBLE 

I tried! Succeeded on some levels, tragically failed on others! True confessions.

10. DON’T NAG 

Remember what the Bible says about a “dripping, nagging wife” (or mother). If you are not getting the response you desire from the family, rethink, and ASK JESUS about a better way perhaps.

11. BE ORGANIZED GOING INTO THE WEEKEND

Think practically, set yourself and your family up to win.

12. TAKE A VITAMIN SUPPLEMENT

Sometimes, young, busy mums need a vitamin boost. Sometimes, older girls need a vitamin boost, too. Ha. I remember years ago thinking, “I need a potion.” Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and there was a man selling energy potions! BOOM! Can’t recall if I bought it, but the timing was epic!! (Smile)

13. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY

Different hormonal seasons are real, but they shouldn’t dominate or “side-line” us. Apply wisdom, godly advice, and if need be, FAITH. GOOD OLD FASHIONED FAITH!! Sometimes, we just “succumb” when we need to “rise above”!!

14. FEED THE FAMILY FRESH, LIVE FOOD 

Good food can alter lots of behavior patterns (in everyone!!). By the way, ‘alive’ doesn’t mean it’s running around the kitchen, just means it’s not over-processed and naturally fresh.

15. STEWARD REST 

Sometimes, cranky kids (and adults) just need a couple of night’s good sleep! Heard it said that “three good night’s sleep in a row” fixes any amount of sleep deficit. Not sure how true that is, but give it a go!

16. CHOOSE YA BATTLES 

I quit trying to make my teenage boys have perfect rooms. It just wasn’t on their radar, and I decided their wives could sort them out! (smile). Don’t judge me; I did well on lots of other levels… (double smile)

17. DE-CLUTTER YOUR HOME 

Doing this creates a fresh sense of focus, accomplishment, and well-being.

18. DON’T NEGLECT “YOU TIME”

If you allow some time (even a moment grabbed) to replenish your own soul, spirit, and sanity, you will have a “resource and reserve” to draw upon. Running on “empty” doesn’t work for cars or people!

19. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DEAR HUSBAND OR SPOUSE 

Don’t delegate them to “the list.” Ephesians 5 has some beautiful wisdom…

20. NEVER EVA MAKE “The Church” THE ENEMY 

She exists to build our lives, release potential, and bring salvation. She is never the enemy in life or ministry…So if that mindset begins to haunt you, address it quickly and don’t allow the “real enemy” to get a foothold into your precious life and calling!

[by Bobbie Houston, www.churchleaders.com]

Studies have shown for years that high school students are influenced more by their peer group than by their parents. It was just a few years ago when these students were in elementary school and parents still had the upper hand; but those days are long gone. Even students who have a good relationship with their parents will still admit that mom and dad’s influence is fading as the years go by.

This freaks parents out (believe me I know. I now have a teenager). Adults usually lament this fact, because we fear all peer influences are negative. We assume kids will drink, party, cheat, undress…do whatever it takes to be normal; even if “normal” means wrecking your life.

But Christian kids need to realize that peer power can work for them. After all, they are part of the group; they have a tremendous amount of influence over their friends. In fact, given the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives, they can have more influence over their friends than anyone. As youth leaders our task is to help them gain this perspective and show them how to exert their influence in loving ways.

Of course, society has weakened the concepts of love and grace. To many, love means little more than being nice, and is generally tied to some self gratification “what’s in it for me” kind of attitude. Grace has been defined as a little more than accepting one another’s sinfulness and often blurred with tolerance. In the end we lose sight of the fact that love and grace are transformational powers. Love does make you nice…nice enough to speak the truth even when it may hurt. Grace does make you accepting… accepting enough to slog through the muck of another’s sin to help him or her get beyond it.

Confrontation is not at odds with love and grace. It is an expression of love and grace.

Confrontation usually isn’t what people expect of loving, gracious people but it’s often what they need. And that’s the beauty of this brand of love. It has shock value. It hits you right in your sin and calls you to higher ground. Done in the right way, it’s wonderfully arresting.

Jesus and Confrontational Love (Luke 10:38-42)

No one showed more tough love than Jesus. When the rich young man tried to impress Jesus with his legalistic obedience, Christ called his bluff and told him to sell out or take a hike. After Peter denied knowing Christ, Jesus took him through a painful restoration process. And when the pompous Pharisees played the role of big guy, Jesus used tactful terms like “white-washed tombs,” “brood of vipers,” and “children of the devil” to describe them.

But maybe the simplest example of tough love is Jesus’ encounter with Martha in Luke 10:38-42.

Attempting to relax with friends, Jesus finds “Miss Busybody” wrecking the party. Martha wonders where Mary gets off not helping in the kitchen, and she can’t believe Jesus won’t “validate her feelings.”

Notice the gentleness of Jesus’ confrontation: “Martha, Martha”…you can just hear the sigh in his voice. He’s not angry or raging. He realizes her reaction is all too typical. It’s the shadow side of her strength—giving and serving—that is being expressed here. God wove her together to be a “Type A,” but Martha is letting it get the best of her.

Notice too how Jesus doesn’t exploit the opportunity, using it to do major surgery on Martha’s heart. He doesn’t rip open her chest, evaluate every impure motive, and turn the spotlight on every dark shadow he finds there. He speaks to the problem and nothing more. That’s important, because if we’re not careful, confrontation on one issue can quickly turn into a sweeping critique of a person’s character. But Jesus doesn’t do that. Instead he uses the moment to remind everyone of the higher priorities Mary is demonstrating. That call to “higher ground” is the whole point of confronting love.

Being Confrontational starts with:

• Trusting
  Trust God to use you as a positive influence in your student’s life. Trust that He desires you to confront your students when they need it. Prayerfully trust Him to give you truthful, grace-filled words to say as you confront.
• Optimism
  Be upbeat and positive. Be as serious as you need to be, but show your confidence that good things will result as your students hears you and takes your words to heart.
• Understanding
  Go into the situation ready to listen. Your student might just open up and share some serious things with you, giving you the chance to help even more.
• Grace
  Don’t come off as self-righteous. Remind you’re student that you’re not perfect either and you’re both in this journey together. Communicate that you’re just doing what you would want someone else to do for you.
• Honesty
  Whatever you do, don’t back down from your original purpose. Don’t wimp out or soften the blow. “Wounds from a friend can be trusted” (Prov. 27:6). Speak the truth openly and honestly. Your students are depending on your positive influence. They need you!

However, this does not always mean that we totally agree with each other’s decisions.  But, I find myself in those times trying to understand the situation from all sides of the issue.  For me, I truly believe that I am to support my husband as his leadership partner and as his wife.  So I find that I want to show others a different perspective on why he may be feeling the way that he is, or why he chose to make a decision that some might not agree with.  That doesn’t mean that there have not been times when we have not seen eye to eye on an issue, but when this happens I don’t disagree or argue with him publically.  This verse has always helped guide me in these situations and have reminded me of my support and love for my husband, Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death, meaning your words have an impact.”  I make sure that once we are away from those that we minister to that I discuss with him any concerns or questions that I have.  This allows him to explain his reasoning for certain decisions and allows me to share my thoughts with him as well.

One way we have learned to deal with these issues is to actually deal with the issue, rather than just ignoring and suppressing them.  If we start to argue in front of others my main concern would be that those we are trying to lead would begin to get concerned that we are a house divided and that there may be major issues in our marriage leading us unfit for leadership.  We definitely are not perfect, and we do have our ups and downs, but in the end of the day I know that my husband has a vision and calling from God on ministry and our marriage, and we will strive to work together as one.

I want to be the person that supports him the most on this vision and calling, but also to show others that I believe in what God has told him to do.   The years that we have been in ministry together I have seen how being supporting and living out Proverbs 18:21 has strengthened our marriage and our communication.  Yet, we are also well aware that Satan loves to see division in marriages and ministry and because of this we understand how important it is to present a united front to our ministry volunteers.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen “ (Ephesians 4:29).

Deborah Rhodes has been married to Matt Rhodes, Youth Pastor at Harvest Church, (www.harvestchurchlive.com) for five years.  She graduated from Southern Wesleyan University with a Major in Bible with a Concentration in Youth Ministries.  Deborah and Matt just had a little baby girl, Annabeth Marie born on July, 2011.

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Soul+Mates is a ministry designed for individuals and families serving in vocational ministry. It exists to encourage, strengthen, develop and foster healthy spiritual lives, marriages, relationships, and families. Each newsletter features articles, tips, and resources to aid in the enjoyment and not-so-fun times of ministry life.

Amid these stories from other parents, you’ll find tips and tools in the areas of schooling, church, balancing the needs of your disabled child and the needs of your other children, coping when your circumstances have become too hard and encouragement in developing friendships.

Likely your days are filled with appointments, therapies and other responsibilities necessary for the care of your children. Perhaps you’re also working through circumstances that seek to overwhelm you. If you’d find it beneficial to speak with one of our licensed counselors, don’t hesitate to call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

And sometimes, all you need is to bounce ideas off of another parent — maybe one who’s been down a similar path. Connecting with others who can relate to your journey can offer long-lasting friendship and fellowship. Consider sharing your story with others and us. Visit our online parenting community and join the discussion.

Note: The articles in this series are not meant to replace the advice of medical professionals or licensed counselors.

[by Andrea Gutierrez, www.focusonthefamily.com]

Wedding season is in full swing—but with divorce rates on the rise, we have to ask ourselves why it’s so easy to end our marriages.

It is wedding season, and by the time this summer is out I will have attended six weddings. They are all of couples that have recently graduated from college and simply cannot wait to settle down with their significant other. Discussions of floral arrangements and caterers fill the air and love reigns supreme in this happy scenario where marriage is the promised land of milk and honey.

Statistically, two of those six couples will end up divorced. Most of us are familiar with the data that was first published in 2001 and then reconfirmed in 2008: 33 percent of born again Christians have gone through a divorce, a number identical to the national average for all adults. It is one thing to hear statistics, however, and another to sit through a wedding ceremony and wonder if this is the couple that will not make it. Having been married barely a year myself, this question is all the more pressing. How can we as young Christian couples guard ourselves against this deeply pervasive problem?

The Catholic and Anglican Church traditions give us an answer that may not be palatable to all, but is marvelous in its profundity. It takes matrimony out of the realm of romantic love and places it squarely in the realm of the sacred. According to these traditions, marriage, like baptism and communion, is a sacrament.

A sacra-what?

It is surprisingly radical amongst evangelical Christians to believe in marriage as a sacrament, but in a world where the process of divorce is almost as common as the institution it denies, such a view can be our saving grace. Marriage cannot merely be a legal binding of two entities. It is not a secular celebration of love and expensive parties in which you get to show off your good taste. Marriage is no mere human union, but a sacrament that God uses for the sanctification and multiplication of his people.

But what exactly does it mean to say that you and your spouse are embodying a sacrament? The Book of Common Prayer defines a sacrament as an “outward and visible sign of inward and spiritual grace.” So if you understand your marriage as sacramental, it means you and your spouse are both ministers of a sacred bond. Rather than looking at each other simply as companions or lovers, spouses can see that each has been given a special grace from God to love and complete the other in a way no one else can. The ultimate goal of marriage, then, is not happiness but holiness, as husband and wife spur one another along in mutual joy toward Christ-likeness.

In the very beginning of the Bible we are told an almost mystical story of Eve being created specifically for Adam, and God blessing their union. Such an institution is by no means ordinary, and Jesus confirmed this at the wedding at Cana in John 2:1-11 (the miracle where He turns water into wine).

Pope John Paul II, in a talk he gave on marriage, put this miracle in a beautiful light. He called the new wine a “symbol of new love,” and pointed out that in giving the couple this symbol, he was showing them that Christ will always provide for a marriage when love is in danger of running out. This first miracle that revealed Christ’s power “is a sign of the importance marriage has in God’s saving plan and the formation of the Church.” From the very beginning God created marriage to be a sacramental foundation to society that must be valued and protected. Indeed, its very power to heal and be a positive force in the world is what makes its breaking deeply tragic, and this gives us a greater burden to protect it as a sacrament.

More than a natural union

This means that marriage is both natural and supernatural. It is natural in that it is a uniting of two people that is meant to be lifelong and exclusive. This is the way most of society understands matrimony, and in the first flush of love and excitement can feel like enough to support a marriage. However, as Christians we are told that marriage is also supernatural—that when two believers say their vows to one another in front of God and His people, they are creating an entity that exists beyond the bride and groom individually. This supernatural aspect is what makes Christian marriage truly powerful. When we are responsible not only to each other and our children but also to the Living God, the words “I do” take on a whole new significance.

Ultimately, the uniting of man and wife is a living image of Christ’s love for His bride, the Church. Just as Christ’s love is full of forgiveness and redemption for his errant Bride, so should Christians understand their relationships to their sinful spouses. Once entered into, matrimony is a vocation, not an arbitrary choice that can be casually walked away from. Failure and disappointment are inevitably going to be part of two humans interacting on a regular basis, but because the bond of marriage is covered in the gift of grace, these very hurdles can become the means for a couple to grow closer together.

I will be praying for all of the couples I see get married this summer, even as my husband and I pray for God’s protection over our relationship. Lord willing, none of us will become part of a divorce statistic. Instead, I pray that we will all grow in closeness to our spouses and to the Lord as we live out our sacramental bonds. Once the wedding day is past and the initial blush of love is gone, we can rest assured that we are part of something greater than ourselves that will ultimately mold us into the image of our loving groom, Jesus Christ.

This article is courtesy of Living with Teenagers.

You’ve seen TV shows where a makeover is done on a house or a person. Well, you can now do a parenting “character makeover!” After all, we serve a God of fresh starts, second chances, and rebirths. As we launch into a brand-new year, this is a great time to let Him remake us into the parents He wants us to be!

Prideful Parents Need Humility
We’ve all seen prideful parents. They take all the credit for how amazing their kids are turning out! They may also push their kids to perform so they can live out their dreams through their kids’ accomplishments.

Pride leaves us delusional. We think we are the reason our kids are capable, attractive, popular, or successful. At the same time, we are oblivious to the reality that everything our kids are is from God. We, as parents, are simply stewards of His treasure!

In contrast, humility focuses on God. To get rid of pride, it’s as simple as applying John 3:30: He must increase, but I must decrease. Focus more on God. Look for Him, thank Him, give Him credit, and praise Him. As you do, your prideful self-focus will naturally decrease.

Insecure Parents Need Confidence
An insecure parent second-guesses her decisions, feels inferior to her kids or to other parents, or needs constant reassurance that she’s doing the right thing.

Confidence is that inner self-assurance that lets us interact effectively with others—even our teens! Usually we think of “self-confidence” as believing in ourselves, but it’s really “God-confidence” because your confidence is only as strong as the One in whom you trust.

To start building God-confidence, try doing a Scripture study of what God thinks of you. You can start with passages like Ephesians 1:4: For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight.

Fearful Parents Need Courage
Raising teens can fill us with fear. Between worries about peer pressure, drunk drivers, social networking, and driver’s ed, anxiety can be crippling. It not only keeps you on high-alert, but it also causes you to hold your teen way too tightly.
Courage means being filled with God’s strength, which frees you to take risks, endure difficulty, or withstand fear. Parental courage is not an absence of fear, but it trusts God and keeps going.

Second Timothy 1:7 says that God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound thinking. If you are haunted by a spirit of fear, it’s not from God! Ask Him to release you from it.  To practice courage, say yes to an experience that you would normally avoid, such as taking your teen out for driving practice!

Stressed Parents Need Self-Control
I (Katie) have a confession: As a stressed-out, single mom in the late 80’s, I was a rageaholic. Anything could send me flying into a verbal rampage. One minute I’d be sweet and kind and charming. The next minute—well, you know the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde drill.

Self-control is what I needed: Self-Under-God’s-Control! It draws on God’s power to exercise restraint and to avoid overindulgence, over-reactions, or even laziness (Prov. 25:28).

To move toward more self-control in your life, take a Sabbath. Clear some commitments and devote one day a week to God and rest.

Impatient Parents Need Patience
Parenting teens is a breeding ground for impatience. Cluttered rooms, words mumbled under their breath, disrespect, forgetfulness, unkindness, and mood swings work in harmony to push us past a point of no return. But patience is about selflessness since love does not demand its own way (1 Cor. 13:5).

You can increase your patience by practicing flexibility, listening, and seeking first to understand rather than to be understood. In other words, don’t rigidly demand things be done your way. Instead, try listening more than you speak. And before you tell them what you think, get to know what’s going on with them first.

Envious Parents Need Contentment
Benjamin Franklin wisely said: “Contentment makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor.” In order to be content, we need to rid our hearts of envy. We also need to stop comparing our kids to anyone else’s. Comparisons ignite envy, insecurity, and pride.

Contentment rests in thankfulness (Eph. 5:20). To tackle envy, keep a “Thankful List,” looking for things in your teens for which you can be grateful: their health, their disposition, their kindness, their intelligence, their abilities, and the areas where they take after you!

Greedy Parents Need Generosity
I (Shelley) am a food hoarder. I never shared my candy as a child; and to this day, I hide secret stashes of my favorite chips and cookies from my kids. I’ll make my special tuna with boiled eggs, pickles, and onions, only to get frustrated when my kids have the nerve to eat it!

Generosity means being able to hold your time, your house, your personal space—even your tuna—loosely. Paul told Timothy that believers need to be rich in good deeds and always ready to share (1 Tim. 6:18). Watch what you hoard as a parent.

One great way to be generous is allowing yourself to be interruptible. To help remind yourself of this commitment, use the slogan: stop, drop, and roll. In other words, stop to really listen to what your teenager is saying, drop what you’re doing to give him your full attention, and roll with whatever your teen needs.

“Quitters” Need Perseverance
One of the most challenging aspects of parenting teens is seeing things through. It can get be difficult to follow through on consequences or to stick with your teen and believe in them when they disappoint you.

Perseverance is all about persistence and diligence. James 1:4 tells us to let perseverance run its course, so we can be all God wants us to be. Develop perseverance by igniting your heart for your kids. Ask God to restore your passion to see them grow up right, and use that to persevere when you feel like quitting.

Your parenting character traits are like windows into your life. Your teens can look into them and see what Christ is like.  Partner with the Spirit to complete a makeover on your character. Start fresh today by admitting the truth about the strongholds in your life. Only then can you truly develop and strengthen your character.

Shelley Leith serves as a staff writer at Saddleback Church in California. Her character is tested daily with five children between the ages of 15 and 21.

Katie Brazelton, PhD, MDiv, MA, is a parent, grandmother, and founder of Life Purpose Coaching Centers International. She and Shelley are co-authors of Character Makeover: 40 Days with a Life Coach to Create the Best You.