When I was in high school, a popular activity for the girls was to talk about their “dream date.”  We would even go so far as to make a list of all the characteristics we would find desirable in our future husbands.  (I am sure the guys participated in a similar activity, even though they never would have admitted it!)  As I get older, I am discovering that older single adults who desire to be married– both men and women—are still making lists.  Granted, the items on the list now tend to be shaped by past painful experiences and hopefully, a little bit of spiritual and emotional maturity.  Although making lists of desirable traits in a future spouse can be a good thing, especially if they are focused on character qualities, sometimes the list can become a distraction.  Let me explain.

If we aren’t careful, as single adults we can spend entirely too much time focused on finding the right marriage partner.  This focus can turn into an obsession that causes us to always be dreaming about what life could be like (if we were just able to find the right spouse), rather than what life can be like right now, even without a mate.  So here are two suggestions that might help us enjoy life in the present, and may even increase our chances of finding Mr. or Ms. Right.

1. Look at the character qualities on your list.  Does your list describe you?  If the person you are looking for values the same qualities you do, would they be interested in you?  What can you do today to develop the character qualities in your life that you find desirable in others?
2. Take time to learn about your spiritual gift and begin putting it into practice.  Find a place to serve in the body of Christ and in your community.  If other individuals who are passionate about the same things you are, and are utilizing their spiritual gifts, you may discover your future spouse serving alongside you as you serve the Lord together!

So let’s stop dreaming about the future “what if’s” and start living in the present!  Let’s commit to let the Holy Spirit work in us and through us to help us become like His son, Jesus.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. –Ephesians 3:20-21

Dawn Hartel

Tags: Singles

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